šŸ“– Day 18 Cookbook Discussion Prompt - DROPPING OUT, COPPING OUT

If Iā€™m understanding correctly, itā€™s like being involved without being involved. Like the instrument but only if itā€™s fitting and one canā€™t have attached himself to it?

I guess, like if parents are arguing with a sibling about something and not getting attached to the parent or the sibling involved?

Iā€™m honestly not sure I understand this course work question today.

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I guess, witnessing someone littering and instead of saying something to that someone, just picking up their trash and throwing it away, myself.

I do that, a lot :joy:

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My ā€œfeelingā€ polarized is a nearly daily reality as I do not feel like I particularly belong in either of the currently polarized tribal/religious affiliations of progressive vs. conservatives. I have friends and family in both tribes and in discourse with either I can feel the emotions very quickly get inflamed.

This is one area I have to constantly bring in a higher / larger awareness to see the divine and humanity in all, realizing that each individual can only process and respond according to their state of consciousness. Just as I can only see and process according to my current state of consciousness. And to also refrain from thinking that Iā€™m somehow ā€œhigherā€ because I think/feel this or that.

Therefore to attempt to just breathe, see, and respond with grace and compassion instead of anger when someone is in a different position or when that anger is directed at me: ā€œyou should be ___ if you are really so ___!ā€

What Ram Dass said in this lesson really resonates with me: So the simple rule of conscious participation is:

YOU MAY PROTEST IF YOU CAN LOVE THE PERSON YOU ARE PROTESTING AGAINST AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF.

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Thanks for your post, Emily. Got me thinking. Protests and political campaigns in which I have been involved do generate anger in me. Itā€™s US vs THEM and we are right! It becomes a warrior spirit. I accuse the right of not being inclusive to people not like them, but my challenge is to include them. As Ringo sang, ā€œIt donā€™t come easy.ā€ Those who are not like me ARE me. We are connected. They are acting out of their own game as I am. It is a process to see them as ones doing their thing and me mine and we are all human. Sometimes, I think I have experienced this, but it donā€™t come easy. Be involved but not attached is a liminal space to which I am called.

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Ram Dassā€™ teaching are so accessible! They are so powerful. I can have instances of us versus them when I think someone is being mean or selfish, then I remember theyā€™re just doing the best they can. But before that realisation I can feel very defensive. And all I do is give myself a load of stress. Remembering would open more of those precious minutes of life to the love that is here and all around us.

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Wow, what a timely discussion for me today. At lunch, I found myself caught in between a couple of colleagues who were discussing their affinity for guns. All sorts of guns and accessories, and whether or not you could purchase a silencerā€¦ I made myself sit in that discomfort because I could feel myself caught. Yep, totally and completely caught in the me vs them in that moment. And this isnā€™t just a today thing, I do get caught in this conversation. Especially as someone who has lived in another country and experienced how healthy gun control can be applied to protect its people.

So today, I chose to sit in the discomfort. Just be with it. I gently asked myself to accept the natural unfolding of it all. Reminding myself that we all have our roles to play. And even if my human mind and heart canā€™t see it/understand itā€¦itā€™s all just perfect. I am reminded of Ram Dassā€™ saying ā€œand that tooā€. I understand the compassion doesnā€™t stop there, but begins there as I continue to work with these colleagues and others who no doubt have tons of different views to my own. Love creates safe spaces for people to engage in conversation. And Iā€™m here for that. ā€œItā€™s all grist for the millā€ and I am leaning into the learnings. Thank you all.

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I LOVE THIS. I remember Ram Dass saying time and time again to keep people in your heart even if it no longer serves you to have a relationship with them. Keep them in your heart always. Thanks for the reminder!

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I keep reading more and more about Jack Kornfield! Do you have a book recommendation for a newbie like myself?

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Good question. To get a better idea of his thoughts and style you could try out his podcast Heart Wisdom on the Be Here Now Network.

And as far as books, maybe try A Path With Heart.

Heā€™s connected to the Insight Meditation Society in Barre Massachusetts and also Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California.

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Wow. This is a potent observation. Thank you so much for sharing it!

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Isnā€™t that the truth!!! Ram Dass made this his whole lifeā€™s practice in many ways.

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Great book! One of my favorites as well as ā€œafter the ecstacy, the laundryā€

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I use this one all of the time too. Thank you for sharing your story and the grist for the mill moment.

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Yes! I love this remeinder.

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Such a great practice. Thanks for the reminder.

Sometimes it doesnā€™t make sense. And as Ram DAss used to say ā€œjust let it run though you like {spicy} food.ā€

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There are times when I can see another person who is different from me in views as human like me. The advice of my spiritual director helps: ā€œPeople are doing the best they can and know how.ā€ And Robin Williams said: ā€œYou have no idea what battles people are fighting ā€¦ so always be kind.ā€ These ideas would sync with what Ram Dass is sharing.

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Thanks for sharing this authentic story, Angela. I like the idea of sending lovingkindness and imagining the person as a child and what she went through. I have tried both and it placed me in a more compassionate space.

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@Angela_Catalano I relate to this so much! I canā€™t count how many times in my life I have been just as mad at myself for just standing there silently (sometimes on the brink of tears), taking in whatever the other person is saying/doing and not advocating for myself. It makes me feel like I canā€™t fully take care of/protect myself.
I started reading Fierce Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff, which I need to finish reading and working through (Thank you for your post for reminding me!). She talks about how the 3 types of fierce self-compassion are protecting, providing, and motivating, how women are less likely to be socialized to provide those things for ourselves, and how to build up fierceness in ourselves so we can bring out those advocating energies when needed.

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For the last several years, I have experienced an ā€œus vs themā€ model with the political arena in the United States. It has been extremely challenging to see ā€œthemā€ as a part of ā€œusā€, to find compassion and acceptance for some who appear to have such a different world view than myself. But I do bring awareness, and compassion and a realization that we are all on the same path, living out our evolution and existence and our karma here, in these days.
I also take great lessons from a young woman who spoke at the first Womenā€™s March and made her presence felt and known in the last few years. Her name is Valarie Kaur, and she is a beacon of Light and Love. She has founded an organization based on the tenents of ā€œRevolutionary Loveā€ and travels the country speaking and sharing stories of courage and incredible strength in community and Love. She has written a book called ā€œSee No Strangerā€, whereas I see you as a part of me I do not yet know. She is of the Sikh faith and is a most remarkable person. She speaks and grieves with those around the country who have been the subject of racial violence, and speaks of using Love to counteract the violenceā€¦Revolutionary Love.
I think she is a very special, important Voice of these days.

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