An accordion seems like a good descriptor for my practice and ego; at least that is what popped into my awareness. Getting a minor degree in religious studies opened my spiritual world greatly even as I practiced in a mainline christian community. I have seen myself get very judge-y when I have been in certain âBible Studiesâ and I didnât like it. Recently, getting some distance again from a mainline christian church and opening up. My ego want one to be ârightâ and of course my soul saysâŚthey are all ârightâ. I have been using the word âbalanceââŚI want some balance in these faiths. Perhaps, I am looking to not be attached.
I can beat myself up for not âsittingâ enough and I can feel superior because I practice at all (today, this week, this month). May I just sit and see where it leads.
Everytime It seems like I am forever doing a dance of trying, succeeding, back patting, realizing the back patting is something Iâm trying to let go of, somehow letting go, and then it all starts all over again because Iâm patting my back for letting go.
First example that came to mind is when I was taking Raja Yoga class through Integral Yoga Institute with 54 other beautiful souls, I was really feeling strong in my spirituality and learning so much about Yoga Sutras, the 8 limbs etc but still was driven to have to THE BEST presentations, ambition and pride ruled over that portion of the class for me. I recognized it even in the midst but still the overachiever in me won in that regard.
Isnât that so interesting that we tend to project our own âstuffâ onto other people in such an obvious way? I do it all the time! Totally hilarious and humbling, I think itâs amazing that you recognize that pattern that so many of us fall into and youâre willing to look at it Kathryn! <3
Such wonderful awareness Zac⌠thereâs a comedian (his name is slipping my mind) who has a bit that goes something like this: âI judge my level of enlightenment by the time that passes between saying âscrew you!â to someone and âIâm sorry.ââ â As in, weâre always going to make mistakes but I think the most important piece of the equation is becoming aware when we slip up and being able to look at that with less reactivity over time. An ongoing journey for us all!
Such wisdom Angela! I feel like family dynamics are often one of the last strongholds on our spiritual journeys - so hard to break out of those deep rooted patterns weâve known all our lives⌠itâs amazing that youâve been able to get quicker about noticing yourself reacting to your sister in those situations - thatâs HUGE⌠and seeing the parts of her that you donât accept about yourself⌠so powerful and we can definitely all relate to this on some level. Thanks for sharing
You have such wisdom and awareness Donna, thanks for sharing it with us⌠our family dynamics are often such a sticking point arenât they? Especially parent/child dynamics, knowing when to lean in and when to step back, itâs a tricky balanceâŚ
Such amazing awareness and reflections Charlie, it can be so hard to look at ourselves objectively and see where we are getting stuck, but you seem to be witnessing those parts of yourself that get stuck and that is huge! And who doesnât get stuck sometimes? Weâre all human.
This is huge Leila! Thanks for sharing â when we are able to disconnect from our habitual tendencies that we know may not be the best thing for us in the long-run, its a big deal. I still work everyday on my phone addiction, and itâs really hard not to grab it first thing in the morning⌠good for you~
Iâve done this so many times Nina! Now I think of Ram Dass when he says, âYou can only go at the rate you can go,â and it helps me to remember, as we both know, that thereâs no way to nudge anyone into this path, they really have to find it themselves - but I still send people spiritual books and hope they will take the hint sometimes
âCultivating that extra momentâ â yes! This is such good wisdom⌠it often just takes a moment, a pause between the stimulus and reaction, for us to take a look at ourselves and offer up these emotions before they overtake us⌠thanks for sharingâŚ
If only wisdom and awareness were enough! Thank you Rachael - You are appreciated. Your role in this course is appreciated. Your responses to all of us are appreciated. Sending all of that to you through my heart and its connection to all of us - Universal Spirit - and beyond time and space
Viktor Frankl has a great quote:
âBetween stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
I donât have a specific example, but it seems that my ego pops up often. I am in a recovery support group and will compare paths often. While this comparison can be beneficial (what are they doing that I would like to do etc) in the past, I have used it as an excuse to judge.
It seems like I am forever doing a dance of trying, succeeding, back patting, realizing the back patting is something Iâm trying to let go of, somehow letting go, and then it all starts all over again because Iâm patting my back for letting go.
