An accordion seems like a good descriptor for my practice and ego; at least that is what popped into my awareness. Getting a minor degree in religious studies opened my spiritual world greatly even as I practiced in a mainline christian community. I have seen myself get very judge-y when I have been in certain “Bible Studies” and I didn’t like it. Recently, getting some distance again from a mainline christian church and opening up. My ego want one to be “right” and of course my soul says…they are all ‘right’. I have been using the word “balance”…I want some balance in these faiths. Perhaps, I am looking to not be attached.
I can beat myself up for not ‘sitting’ enough and I can feel superior because I practice at all (today, this week, this month). May I just sit and see where it leads.
Everytime It seems like I am forever doing a dance of trying, succeeding, back patting, realizing the back patting is something I’m trying to let go of, somehow letting go, and then it all starts all over again because I’m patting my back for letting go.
First example that came to mind is when I was taking Raja Yoga class through Integral Yoga Institute with 54 other beautiful souls, I was really feeling strong in my spirituality and learning so much about Yoga Sutras, the 8 limbs etc but still was driven to have to THE BEST presentations, ambition and pride ruled over that portion of the class for me. I recognized it even in the midst but still the overachiever in me won in that regard.
Isn’t that so interesting that we tend to project our own “stuff” onto other people in such an obvious way? I do it all the time! Totally hilarious and humbling, I think it’s amazing that you recognize that pattern that so many of us fall into and you’re willing to look at it Kathryn! <3
Such wonderful awareness Zac… there’s a comedian (his name is slipping my mind) who has a bit that goes something like this: “I judge my level of enlightenment by the time that passes between saying ‘screw you!’ to someone and ‘I’m sorry.’” – As in, we’re always going to make mistakes but I think the most important piece of the equation is becoming aware when we slip up and being able to look at that with less reactivity over time. An ongoing journey for us all!
Such wisdom Angela! I feel like family dynamics are often one of the last strongholds on our spiritual journeys - so hard to break out of those deep rooted patterns we’ve known all our lives… it’s amazing that you’ve been able to get quicker about noticing yourself reacting to your sister in those situations - that’s HUGE… and seeing the parts of her that you don’t accept about yourself… so powerful and we can definitely all relate to this on some level. Thanks for sharing
You have such wisdom and awareness Donna, thanks for sharing it with us… our family dynamics are often such a sticking point aren’t they? Especially parent/child dynamics, knowing when to lean in and when to step back, it’s a tricky balance…
Such amazing awareness and reflections Charlie, it can be so hard to look at ourselves objectively and see where we are getting stuck, but you seem to be witnessing those parts of yourself that get stuck and that is huge! And who doesn’t get stuck sometimes? We’re all human.
This is huge Leila! Thanks for sharing – when we are able to disconnect from our habitual tendencies that we know may not be the best thing for us in the long-run, its a big deal. I still work everyday on my phone addiction, and it’s really hard not to grab it first thing in the morning… good for you~
I’ve done this so many times Nina! Now I think of Ram Dass when he says, “You can only go at the rate you can go,” and it helps me to remember, as we both know, that there’s no way to nudge anyone into this path, they really have to find it themselves - but I still send people spiritual books and hope they will take the hint sometimes
“Cultivating that extra moment” – yes! This is such good wisdom… it often just takes a moment, a pause between the stimulus and reaction, for us to take a look at ourselves and offer up these emotions before they overtake us… thanks for sharing…
If only wisdom and awareness were enough! Thank you Rachael - You are appreciated. Your role in this course is appreciated. Your responses to all of us are appreciated. Sending all of that to you through my heart and its connection to all of us - Universal Spirit - and beyond time and space
I don’t have a specific example, but it seems that my ego pops up often. I am in a recovery support group and will compare paths often. While this comparison can be beneficial (what are they doing that I would like to do etc) in the past, I have used it as an excuse to judge.