Hi all, I just wanted to check out if anyone else has experienced death in a way that has broken them wide open and deepened every sense about the connection with our people on the flip side? I use the term flip side because it is a charged phrase for me, this is the phrase my beautiful son used ‘see you on the flip side’ in a note he left us just before he made his transition in a Cocaethylene induced suicide. He is one of many men who have left life as a result of the impact of a night out drinking alcohol and taking Cocaine.
That is just a little of our beautiful 26 year old loving beautiful man’s back story. I miss him with every heartbeat and every breath and the grief in the first year involved waves crashing and my soul being ripped apart in so many ways every day. HIs video message was all love, even in that delirium of Cocaethylene, his big beautiful heart and true nature shone through. I did not even know Shaun took Cocaine and I had no clue about these sudden deaths that are all too common as a result .
What I do know is that in that week before Shaun left us, on some level I knew something big was coming ( I did not know what) but I was down and depleted and scared and there were signs and communication from spirit that did not warn me of the exact nature but that strengthened the understanding I awoke to in 2007, that our loved ones are still with us when they drop their body. That we are all in this together and that this physical life is not it, this is just something we get to come and experience.
Now we are 18 months in and the signs and communication are daily from Shaun, he is still playful, he is still him and he is still loving me and being that same source of inspiration he was when he was here in the physical, not just to me but to so many beautiful people whose lives he touched. I think there is a little bit of me that just needed to share this as we move into this course together, I am changed, I am in grief and always will be but I am in love, truly as Ram Dass says, loving awareness.
It is like all the things I came to know back in 2007 when my eyes were fully opened and I could see, hear and sense it all, have now become my whole life; whereas back then and up to that moment my whole world stopped, I would just carry on with life as a university lecturer, conducting research - doing the personality of me as a nurse an academic and I didn’t really pay much attention to daily practice or the real work.
The ongoing relationship with Shaun is as real as when he was still here in his physical body and I am so very grateful for that and the way I am now surrendered fully to what my next right service should be. Moment by moment and day by day until I am fully back with my beautiful son.
I am sharing this to ask if there is anyone else on the course who has had a NDE themselves that changed their whole experience or have had someone they love make that crossing and the loss and grief changed you.
When I first heard Ram Dass talking about death and dying, it was such a full circle moment for me to have all the things I had learned be validated in his words, simple but powerful truths all illuminated one by one.
Sorry, I feel I have waffled on a little too much there but would love to hear if anyone has anything they would like to share.