When Alan says, “Your life is not your own”, what does that mean to you now? How does it land with you?
My life was never my own. If it was, would I have chosen all the suffering? That’s the simple answer, in my mind. But it’s not that simple. When we’re born, we rely on others for life-giving care. Whatever person (or institution) cares for us also molds us into what they want us to be. What if we don’t fit their mold? Many of us don’t. I didn’t fit my parents’ mold and spent a lifetime fighting against myself. I arrived at adulthood believing I was unlovable. Before long, I grew to loathe myself.
But there’s more to the story. My parents weren’t the only ones influencing who I would become. I’ve always had a bevy of otherwhere beings hovering near me. I think we all do, but in the West, we tend to silence our children’s “imaginary” friends and shame them if they keep talking to imaginary beings after a certain age. In other words, we’re forced to close that connection. I didn’t close it, which I suspect might be a common trait among children who grow up in violent homes. In my early teens, I learned to silence this “noise” that my parents referred to as either demonic or neurotic. It felt necessary at the time to shut it off to protect myself. Only recently did I come to believe those “voices” were protecting me far better than I could ever protect myself. I think these beings influence us whether we can sense them or not.
This is not my life. In fact, I silenced the real me when I silenced the other noise, the me I’m now attempting to resurrect. Watching my breath sometimes, I imagine breathing new life back into the person I let go of in youth.
I haven’t believed my life was my own in a good while. Thanks to Alan Watts and Ram Dass through the 2 networks, I feel like an ongoing WIP, if you will. My life is no longer a single thing (single things have been cordoned off and are separate) but I still have a ways to go, using my life as a statement. After all, that is the real free will I have down on the physical plane, how much I quiet enough to listen to my role in each situation. If I’m present enough in the moment, I tend to do much less damage that way!
Likening life to the Tao, it flows to the left and to the right. It nourishes all things but does not lord it over them. It’s hard to hear the action necessary (if any) in everyday situations but I truly believe if I’m quiet enough I will hear the answer.
I guess the tldr is, My life is my message, but that message is a process of becoming more conscious and quiet enough not to reaffirm the seperate-ness of those beings around me. Thanks and Namaste!
Beautifully said! I have the BEST “imaginary” friends!!! It’s tough for the living spirit in western thinking, you’re right but mine and I’m sure, yours, are often so deeply right and true, they seem to be sets of folding doors through to the guru. Maharaji is wonderful to have around, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Christ, Buddha, all God’s avatars make great playmates!
I just found the books Whisper in the Heart and Miracle of Love a couple of weeks ago. Jackie mentioned them in a video I happened to see on YouTube. I feel like Ram Dass himself chooses which videos I’m supposed to see, because every time I see his name on the featured video, it’s always precisely what I need to hear in that moment. I had an epiphany in the first chapters. I was alternating back and forth reading them. I think Maharaji was with me even when he was still living. And I’ve felt like Ram Dass has been stalking me (in a good way!) ever since I discovered him recently.
I’m sure you’ve heard Ram Dass say that God, Guru and Self are the same. Life can be our statement and our guru. In fact, it might be our best teacher.
That is hilarious how you said “I’ve felt like Ram Dass has been stalking me” hah I can relate on a very deep level. But like you said, it’s not in a bad way, but more so, do this to teach them this and help us.
I have a very similar experience! It turns out the algorithm is pretty darn good when it comes to which talk I need today
(Especially when Maharaji is feeding everyone)