What does practicing self-kindness look like for you? Share a time when you struggled to be kind to yourself and how you overcame it.
Self kindness has been the challenge for me and i feel guilty to have a time off from everything but i slowly started saying no to things which drains my energy though it is still difficult for me to say No as I always relate saying no is being rude but I am on my way now to set boundaries and have healthy enviornment around me.
3 Likes
I struggle to be kind to myself when deep rooted pain is triggered, particularly childhood&adolescent trauma. When emotions are high like that, it can be so hard to avoid falling into old coping mechanisms ā this sometimes involves blaming myself for someone elseās harmful behavior, instead of holding them accountable. As a kid, this became a habit because I would often get shut down/ignored when I tried to stand up for myself.
This is something Iām working with frequently. The most helpful things have been
- Keep a regular meditation practice, even letting it be as simple as: once or twice a day, take a moment to take my focus out of my thoughts and into my bodily state and sensations. These practices make it more likely that I will catch and tend to painful feelings before they become too overwhelming to be present with them.
- Keep a note on me to read when those heavy feelings start taking over; this note includes reminders to myself, from myself, that I know will be helpful in that moment. For example a reminder to breathe, tend to any pain in the body, and that the root of these thoughts is (almost always) the pain that I went through as a child. That thought instantly disarms the āmeanā voice in my head that is trying, but failing, to protect me.
6 Likes
Early Childhood trauma is doubly difficult since we most often we canāt articulate the nature of the wound, and children are so, so tender.
Just wanted to say, I feel you 
Teri ~
3 Likes
I confuse self-kindness with retail therapy.
Sometimes though, I get it right, and instead of rushing to grab a quick meal, Iāll slow down, choose a nice bowl, take the time to cut the cucumbers, tomato, olives, onion, add fresh herbs that I have on hand, and make a pretty and pleasing meal.
When I do this, the meal always seems more nourishing.
Teri ~
3 Likes
Totally. Thanks for your sweet response. 
2 Likes
Thanasara helped me when they mentioned that she is not particularly good at following the dharma. Easy to speak about it and tougher to do. Yet, as she mentioned, she has more tools to recover. That is true for me as well. I fall into a pit and have tools to climb out again. Feeding your demons work, breath work, this course. Thank you for the offering.
4 Likes
Right now Iām coming to peace with having month-long Covid that may ultimately be long Covid. Millions of people have been struggling with this diagnosis for years. I always look at everything as a gift, but I donāt want to impose that view on others. And I am scared, for sure. But self-kindness means not judging myself for being ill, which is kind of a new thing for me, because Iām used to be able to get over things fairly quickly. Itās humbling, which is good on the spiritual path, but the body isnāt ready to agree with that yet!
3 Likes
Sarah, thank you for sharing this!
It seems as though being hard on ourselves comes too easily, and itās a good reminder to find ways to be gentle with ourselves, to let go of judgement and be a loving awareness to ourselves.
Grateful 
2 Likes
Way to go, Angela. Thanks for sharingā¦and teaching!
Courage = growth, I think.
Namaste.
2 Likes
I love to cook. Itās become an almost mystical experienceā¦recovering from Lyme disease required really understanding the nature of clean, whole foodā¦what would best serve my microbiome (and the rest of my bodily ātempleā)ā¦and, to help a severely compromised auto immune functionā¦function, with the least inflammation.
So, no matter how tired I amā¦or stressed for timeā¦I know Iām showing loving kindness to myself when investing the effort and the care in the kitchen for what goes on the plate.
PS: Great job, Jackie. Thanks so much for everything you and LSRF are doing. Itās āripplingā here in Halifax! xoxo
5 Likes
Thanks Barry 
Thank you for being a part of this course, @Karlene .
Itās so important to remember the tools we haveā¦ and I feel similarly to Ram Dass in my desire to acquire as many tools as possible! Thank you for sharing this reflection.
On my own path it reminds me that itās one thing to have the tool box, itās another thing to use them! I can have all the tools and materials to build a ladder to get out of a hole, but unless I put in the work myself, itās just a pile of āstuffā under my feet. The same goes with these practices.
Itās wonderful to be with this course community, and so many beautiful souls on this shared journey of learning and remembering.
1 Like
Thanks for sharing your insights about healing from Lyme disease, Barry. What a tough journey, but a deep education in self-love.
1 Like
Nidhi, it sounds like courage to meā¦Conditioning that tells us boundaries are rude IS exhausting. Thanks for being an example of another way. 
1 Like
Hi Angela, bravo for taking on this huge endeavor of healing from childhood and adolescent trauma. I honor your walk and know that you can find the way back home to your own, precious heart.
2 Likes
I am learning to say ānoā to things i donāt likeā¦but at the same time finding right balance between self-obsession and self-love.
and also this particular thought āi also deserve understanding and love and respectā is not being selfish which makes me want to cut some people off who drain my energy.
especially when you belong to a traditional Indian family, the community and family can be super toxic and backward thinking but still you carry on meeting them because it also provides warmth, i fight against this thought with my parents but they are so fixated on itā¦
Thank you sweet Sarah! 